What...just happened?

Just moments ago he was sharing a passionate moment with a very beautiful man who he has grown to care about a lot, and the next moment, he was alone in bed watching the other man furiously redressing himself.

Did he seriously just say what he thought he did?

Fai propped himself up on his elbows.

He struggled to speak.

“Kuro-rin…I….”

“Don’t”

“But…”

“I said, don’t.’

Fai swallowed and decided to stop talking, just watching; trying to let what just happened register in his mind. Saddened, blue eyes watched as the other man hastily pulled his shirt up over his head. Fai didn’t want Kurogane to leave, but he was too afraid to ask, and, what right did he have to ask that of him? It was his own fault he was leaving.

Concern grew as he saw the other man grab his sword. Just how far did he intend on going?

He hesitated.

“Where will you go, Kuro-wan?” he asked meekly, heart beating faster. Not much to his surprise, the only reply he was rewarding was the sound of a slamming door.

He let himself fall back onto the bed, putting a hand on his still sweaty forehead. He smiled sadly to himself, his stomach churning at the sudden feeling of loneliness.

“Fai, you blew it. Just like you knew you would.”

He rolled over onto his side, pulling his knees to his bare chest.

His eyes wandered up toward the window that was near the bed, watching the snow fall as he tried to figure out in his head why his tongue slipped the way it did. It’s not like he was pretending he was with Ashura-ou. He was always fully aware (and thrilled) that he was with Kurogane. So why was it Ashura’s name that came out, and not “Kuro-pon” “Kuro-rin” or “Kuro-pu’, instead?

Fai sat up, putting his feet on the ground, putting a hand on his stomach. He was starting to feel ill. He stood up and made his way slowly across the dark room to the bathroom. He flipped on the light switch and winced as his eyes adjusted. He lowered himself down to his knees in front of the toilet, putting the lid up. Every second that went by he felt sicker and sicker. As he sat on the cold bathroom floor, he remembered the night before, the first night he and Kurogane shared a room as more than just traveling companions.



“Are you happy now, idiot? You got your way.” Kurogane grumbled, dropping down on one of the beds, taking off his boots.

Fai laughed “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Kuro-woof.”

Kurogane growled “I told you to stop treating me like a dog!”

Fai pouted, “I can hardly call you ‘Kuro-meow…no matter how cute that is, it just doesn’t fit.’” He flopped down onto the bed across from Kurogane’s, pulling his feet up and hugging his legs, looking out the window.

The dark haired man just sighed. He could tell it was going to be a long night.

Hours later Fai would find himself being shook awake, being freed from a horrible nightmare. He gasped and sat up quickly, catching his breath, waiting for his body to settle from the shock from being awoken from such a deep stage of sleep. When his eyes adjusted he saw the person who saved him from his dream. It was Kurogane, standing over him with a concerned look on his face.

“Kuro-pu? What are you doing?”

Kurogane was looking at him intently. He remembered that look on his face from Outo country.
“You were having a bad dream.” He paused “You wouldn’t shut up, it was keeping me awake.”

Fai laughed sleepily. He couldn’t help but find Kurogane’s mach façade endearing. “Ah, sorry, sorry. Don’t worry, I won’t keep you up anymore.”

Kurogane hesitated, sitting down on the bed. “What were you dreaming about…?”

Fai’s eyes widened. He wasn’t expecting such a serious question, let alone having Kurogane sit in bed with him.

A sly grin slid across his face “I was having a horrible dream that I was a kitty and you were a puppy, and I was stuck in a tree and you were trying to get me! Aa – I was so scared, thank you so much for waking me up, Kuro-sama!”

Obviously, Kurogane wasn’t amused. He just stared at Fai with deep intensity.

“You….you drive me crazy”

Fai felt his heart skip a beat. “…Why are you always so serious, Kuro-sama?”

“Just stop. “ Kurogane snapped back, putting his hands on the other man’s shoulders firmly.
“I want ou to listen to me very carefully. Stop pushing me away.”

“Kuro-rin….”

“For some reason you and I were put on this journey together. I’ve never met anyone as irritating as you in my entire life.” Suddenly, out of nowhere, Fai found himself being pulled into Kurogane’s strong arms. His body went limp and he just allowed himself to be held by the other men.

“But, stop acting like you’re alone. You’re not. I’m here.”

Fai’s heart began to beat faster.

“Kuro-mu?”

“Mm?”

“Will you…sleep in bed with me, tonight?”

Kurogane didn’t give a reply; he simply lied down, pulling the other man with him. No other words were spoke that night, but neither one of them got any sleep. They simply held each other, enjoying silent contentment.



Fai stood over the bathroom sink, splashing his face with cool water. He straightened himself out, giving himself a good look in the mirror. He felt slightly better after vomiting, but his nerves were still pretty much shot. He flipped off the bathroom light and walked back towards the bed, but simply stood in the middle of the room for a moment.

He glanced over at the trail of clothes; he leaned down, beginning to dress himself. He couldn’t stay alone in this room anymore. He had to find Kurogane, and try to explain himself. Kurogane was somewhere alone, and hurt, and Fai was the reason he was hurt. Fai had to find him.

Fai started out the door, and then stopped, reaching and pulling Kurogane’s coat off the coat rack. Kuro-pon would surely be cold.